Words from My Wife, My Friend, My Rock

Ok, Alan asked me to write about something for his blog so I thought I would give some insight into who he is. I have to apologize ahead of time for I’ve never been good at putting my thoughts & feelings into words but I will give it a try.

HOW WOULD I DESCRIBE ALAN: When I met Alan, I was so impressed at what a gentlemen he was. He has such a love for Christ and is strong in his faith. He has a very loving and caring heart that extends not just to his family but to others that he meets. He is a wonderful father and husband. He has inner strength that can come only from God. He is smart, articulate and has a great sense of humor. Always grateful for everything, never complains. He has an amazing ability to draw but doesn’t enjoy it, loves hockey, hunting with his buddies, and spending time with his family.

People ask me how can he remain so strong since he has been diagnosed with cancer, and the truth is, he depends on Christ to help him through each day to give him the strength to keep facing the challenges that lie before him. Deuteronomy 31:6 says “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

I believe that this has been the most difficult time in my (our) life and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Watching someone you love sick and hurting and there is nothing that you can do to make it go away is the most helpless feeling. All the ups and downs and in-betweens can sometimes make you a little crazy. Having test and waiting on the results is so stressful wondering if this will be the chemo that works. He is in constant pain though those that cross his path would not know that. He always smiles when asked how he is doing and the usual fine, great, or good just rolls off the tip of his tongue. People think because of his cheery outlook that this cancer must not be that bad on him but I beg to differ. He has tumors in both sides of his neck that cause constant pain and that along with previous radiation has limited the mobility of his neck. Most nights he sleeps sitting up. Tumors pressing on his airway and esophagus that makes his voice hoarse and difficult to swallow but has learned not to panic with things don’t go down as they should. Intermittent bone pain in his jaw that can be excruciating that so far the doctors haven’t found medicine that completely takes away the pain and that’s just to name a few. My heart hurts for my husband having to go through this and yet he apologizes to me for putting me through it…bless him!

Going through something like this brings you even closer to God, depending on Him like never before. I know He is present in our lives, I feel Him with us and I put all my faith and trust in Him that no matter what He will always be right there beside us holding our hand telling us to lean on Him. I’ve never thought of myself as being very strong, able to handle situations like this very well. Some days I do well and then there are those days I just have to get on my knees and beg for strength because I don’t know how I will get through the day. It is great knowing that we have such an Awesome God that He is always there for us. Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Mark 16:15 And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to all creation. Alan told me in the beginning of being diagnosed that he wanted his walk with Christ to reflect through this trial and for God to get the glory. Alan, I feel with all my heart that you are a good and faithful servant. I have watched and listened to you tell others about what God is doing in your life and sharing His word wanting to win lost souls to Christ. You have been there to encourage others that are struggling, some with this dreaded disease, others with trials and adversities of their own. You have definitely let Christ shine through you to reach others by being an example of what a Christian should be.

I am so blessed to have you in my life, my husband and best friend. There is no where I would rather be than to be right here with you.

I love you…bunches…mean it!